- I shouldn’t have shouted at you
- I shouldn’t have sworn at you
- I’m sorry for treating you like that, there is no excuse
- You are so beautiful
- I think you are amazing
- I am going to go get real help
- I’m so sorry I made you feel afraid of me
- You should be able to feel safe and secure in a relationship
- How can I make it up to you?
- I understand if you need some space
- I screwed up, I’m an idiot
- Can you forgive me?
I don’t believe I’m strong, capable, confident, lovable, kind or valuable. But a nice lady told me that if I just say these things to myself repeatedly each day, I will grow into them, and become them. I hope so.
The way I see it, years of abuse from my family and ex-partner was like growing up in a cult, and you were brainwashed to believe that you were worthless, always to blame, invisible, stupid, incapable, nothing.
So now I need to enter a re-education camp, brainwash myself the right way. It helps that there is no one around to abuse me anymore…though a large part of that is just that there is nobody around.
I will keep reading (good) self-help books, attending workshops, going to therapy, exercising, meditating and being around good people, and hopefully I will emerge fully free from the cult of abuse.
Do you have an affirmation? Comment or tweet @andrea_twist